UNDER THE COVERS WITH KAITLIN OLIVER

The person I would most like to join me under the covers is probably one of the boys from Hi-5. I’ve already had my way with the Wiggles…

The Duvet who most gets under my skin is Judy “the Megabitch” Hainsworth. I coined that nickname, you can use it if you want.

The quality I bring to The Duvets is vibrato: lots of it.

If the other Duvets were asked to describe me they would say I’m a crowd-pleaser.

Without me, The Duvets would not exist, to be frank. I’m like Duvet-glue.

If I weren’t a Duvet I would be making my way through the Ten Tenors. I prefer baritones generally, but c’est la vie.

I feel sexiest in the spotlight.

My favourite memory of being a Duvet is… Well, here’s a story for you. One day Judy was having a nap (Judy loves to nap); so I covered Bel’s eye socket in black and purple eyeshadow, woke Judy up and told her she’d had a rage blackout and punched Bel in the face. She got so angry she had a rage blackout and punched Bel in the face, and Bel had a black eye for a week and a half. Maybe I didn’t think that one through terribly well, though it was quite funny…

When I have a drink The Duvets would say I mostly disappear. So many men, so little time.

The last text I received said… Look, the last text I got was from Captain Feathersword, but I can’t tell you what it said, it’s rated “Arrrgh!” for raunchy…